Walmart Streaming Coming to a Living Room Near You

“Hey where can we watch Need For Speed starring Aaron Paul? Or what about the Twilight Series?” This will be the question people will have in 3 years from now, and the answer will be Walmart+ or WalmartWatch or WalmartGiveUsYourSocailSecurityNumber. Whatever the name is going to be, it will be a streaming service and you will like it.

“Hey bud, are you smoking bath salts again?” That’s mine and my neighbor’s problem not yours. Although this is a weird premise, Walmart streaming is coming and the first domino has already fallen in the form of Vizio TV. If you didn’t hear, Walmart, is buying Vizio TV for about 2.3 Billion Dollars or 11.50 a share if you want to be a dick about it. This deal is giving Walmart the final push it needs to really live in your home via hardware that is connected to the internet. Now to be fair, Walmart is suggesting they will be using the Vizio acquisition as a platform to make it easier for consumers to not only see ads but shop on their television set. You see another squeegee that you can redneck-rig into a fleshlight? Shit she’s not coming back and the squeegee is 30% off. One ad later and it’s at your door.

Honestly this seems like the last puzzle piece that Walmart needs to fully compete with both Target on the physical retail side, and Amazon Prime, when Walmart eventually starts buying movie and TV rights. Yep, I am predicting it now, Walmart is going to start with ads and an easy way to shop, eventually making it into streaming. I am sure someone has already thought of this, but fuck it, calling in a Columbus on this one and taking the credit. To be honest I don’t see this having too much of a downside. Vizio TV’s are about to have the capability of any standard Smart TV while being the same price as a pack of Marlboro Red 100’s. America baby. Unless for some reason the quality just goes down the shitter I think Walmart is poised to really go head-to-head with Amazon. All the while Amazon still lacks some qualities that Walmart has, and I’m not talking about weight per customer or WPC.

Walmart is continuing to innovate which, let’s face it, Arkansas is not particularly known for. A solid company, a ton of capital to buy a fucking TV business, and a customer base in the millions, Walmart is probably going to do just fine. Oh! I just thought of another name for the streaming platform GreatValueTV. BAM. Winner. That’s my take on it, until next time.---GS