The First Brain Chip Has Been Implanted, We Are Definitely, Definitely Fine.

Good ole Elon Tweeted or X’d or whatever, that the first Neuralink Chip has been implanted in someone’s fucking skull and I think we are off to a good or rather interesting 2024.

Theres a lot in that first sentence so let’s break it down, Elon Musk the probably autistic but hilarious modern version of Nikola Tesla is breaking ground…. Well breaking into your fucking mind, and moving forward with the Black Mirror styled device that goes into your brain and reads your thoughts. Dale Gribble, calm down. The functionality of the device is pretty simple right now, basically Elon wants the chip to help you kind of navigate a computer but just using your brain waves rather than your hands. Honestly your hands will be fairly busy as the male brain is now free to browse porn unencumbered by having to type out “Big titty milf”. We truly live in the best era ever.

The first trial has kicked off and some poor soul now has Elon Musk company crowding his or her thoughts. Elon tweeted saying the patient or practice trial is going well and they are recovering, whatever the fuck that means. Obviously, the applications of a literal brain chip are immense and way too big to cover in this dumb blog that I love so much. However even if you don’t want a brain chippy, a lil brain treat, a lil brain snack-snack, you don’t have to. Until we can recreate another pandemic, it’s all smooth sailing. These won’t be mass-produced for some time, they have to work out all the kinks and traumas of that one night in boy scouts before this goes to the public.

Like it or not, that funny looking duck from South Africa is changing our world as we know it. To think that in 20 years VR will be the looked up as the DVD was and we will be angry texting our significant-others to get the chicken thawed is beyond me.

Will this propel the world into a dark dystopia overrun by tyrant war lords, marching the last bit of the population to the ground? Yes, I mean more than likely. Will we have a lot of fun trolling people on the internet until it goes too far? Also, yes. That’s my take on it, until next time. ---GS