Malls??????????? Malls????????? I mean I thought we got rid of those sticky arcades filled with childhood angst a long time ago but I guess they’re hoping to make a pretty big comeback post-Pan-D. Well optimistic and mall don’t usually go in the same sentence, the CEO of Simon Property Group is all giddy for obese families and horny teenagers to once again fill the Gaps, the Food Courts, the Arcades, and even the Sharper Images…..
What? SHARPER IMAGE WENT BANKRUPT?! The humanity oh the humanity. Where can I find ridiculously overpriced useless gadgets now?!?!
Enough rambling. Let’s get into it.
The Simon Property Group is the largest landlord of many malls across America. And if you can believe it, they did not do so well in 2020/2021. Shocker, I know. They missed on overall traffic in the malls, revenue, and funds from operations for Q1, but somehow someway, that did not dissuade the CEO from commenting on the incoming “buyer euphoria” that will grace the tile and concrete floors of malls across the country. The stock of Simon Property Group is still well over $100 a share, and with proper guidance could possibly live up to a fraction of what the CEO promised. Although betting on nostalgia can some times work, (look at Toys R’ Us) but often burn out rather quickly when fully grown adults realize they are trying to live out some random childhood memory (also look at Toys R’ Us). I understand people will enjoy being back around others in the next coming months and years, but that hit of euphoria, like heroin will deplete and give less to the user over time.
The Simon Property Group is in an interesting position having optimism for the future in a somewhat dying sector. The company isn’t all that bad and could stay afloat for the next few years. That is, if they drastically change their strategy. When your top tenants are JC Penny, The Gap, and Macy’s to name a few, you need to start thinking of why the fuck kids don’t care about those outlets anymore. The Simon Property Group needs to start by building in deep relationships with more feasible clients, breweries, gyms, shit make a fucking studio for Gen Zers to make Tik Tok Videos or Instagram Reels ™(on the idea) (try and steal that idea and I will see you in court!), what I am saying is there are young, possibly life-long customers that want something different than a mall from a fucking David Hughes movie. The Simon Property Group has a chance to help change the mall shopping experience.
You gots ta change with the times. That goes for companies too.
Anyway, that’s my take on it. Until next time. -GS
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