(I couldn't get this image to fit so it's a metaphorical typo which will be good for the story below)
Everyone makes mistakes right? I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve drunkenly walked out of a bar leaving my card behind, or committed insurance fraud. But that’s in the past, and the restraining order is being appealed. However sometimes your “mistakes” can lead to ungodly financial success overnight. Like when Lyft forgot to move a decimal point and “lifted” (HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD PUNS) their stock by just a meager 3 billion fucking dollars.
The ride sharing company that we use when Uber is too expensive just made their most successful typo to date. On February 13th the company reported EBIDTA of 5% and for all you Charlie Munger fans, we all know EBIDTA is horse shit, but anyway, that 5% was just off by 4.5% which at the 99 Cent store isn’t that big of a deal but on Wall Street apparently it is. The report almost instantly bumped Lyft’s stock to $20 a share, and even though it happened 2 days ago, they are still at $19.02 a share which is not bad at all.
Now lets make this a conspiracy theory. Obviously, Lyft has been crushing it as a company. However, being in the industry that they are in, they are 2nd place, just like your girlfriend last night. The 2nd place stature must haunt them like my dreams do, as they have struggled to really make any sort of comeback since their 2021 decline. So how does a company that is dying and will probably be bought soon raise their evaluation? The old fashioned Wall Street way of lying through your fucking teeth. Now this is speculation but a simple change of the number and a quick apology by the CEO has somehow just made everyone go “eh, well they are sorry about it”. Could Lyft be trying to make their company more valuable to get a bigger pay day if they get bought out???? Maybe, just maybe.
Sure, I mean, fuck it, I have no dog in this fight (Michael Vicks favorite metaphor), so I don’t really care that Lyft might have done this almost on purpose to get a bump in their evaluation, but next time BlackRock buys up your neighborhood and makes you rent the house you once owned, don’t come crying to me. Actually, please do, I need someone to talk to.
Ok, so Lyft’s mistake is the shareholders and the company’s reward, which is a weird sentence to type in general. Surely if there is a god (there’s not) Lyft will come crashing down to the earth in price but then again, crazier shit has happened. For all we know it’ll jump to 200 a share and we will all praise Lyft for it’s ingenuity. Either way, this is a stock’s way of edging the investor, classic. That’s my take on it, until next time. ---GS
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