Another one bites the dust as they say and in the Silicon Valley that phrase is probably dished around more than many, I mean not that exact phrase but maybe “Another uber gets a flat” “Another cloud service finally rains”?! Jesus fuck, I know I’m grasping here, but you probably get the idea. Actually, no the fuck you don’t, look Lime Scooter just came back for another fundraising series and I am sure they are not done yet, but they got a measly 170+ million from Uber when these guys were valuated at around 2.4 billion last year for having young people collide into old people walking on the side walk for a viral Tik Tok video. I would shame you more but fuck me, the videos are hilarious, and I’m only human. Lime Scooter, my suggestion off the cuff is sponsor another Jackass styled video compilation staring your scooters. Idk, a thought. It sounds like ya might need them.
The valuation of Lime Scooter dropping over 75% in mere months is a tell-tale sign of the recent debauchery that has flooded the funding universe of the VC world. From Uber, to WeWork, from Casper Mattress, to Lime Scooter. Just because you puff up a brand with appealing designs and precise marketing, doesn’t mean you put anything into the product or service you try to sell. I can spray-paint shit gold, but at the end of the day it’s still shit. The fact is that for 30 minutes of that day people took Instagram pictures and posted funny captions. Hopefully the world of VC’s and the life of funding is finally taking a look inward. Not all projects need funding, and not all funding is actually helping products. Flushing someone with cash, doesn’t make them fucking Warren Buffet all the sudden, Adam Neuman, anything to add? Of course, not you fuck face. Go scam another massive lender and make them look dumb like SoftBank.
It sucks to see this, but it’s simple when you look in the rearview mirror. A scooter company cannot just be worth billions in a year, and a direct to your door mattress company can’t be worth billions out of the gate either. We put a ridiculous price on these hopeful stock opportunities because we imagine what they could be worth and apply it. The market is hopefully taking a second look after seeing these MASSIVE failures that have been coming in a domino sort of effect.
Look, everyone wants to see the money, Jerry McGuire isn’t some sort of outlier. But instead of waiting for revenue, channels, and profits to grow, we have become accustomed to instant success. It’s a nice fable and something that happens, but rarely. Before you put your fucking life savings into a company that you think is going to the moon, look at the more historic guys, they took YEARS to build a reputation like that, to build a profit like that. There might just be a reason, I say explore it.
Companies come and companies go, but wasting away millions isn’t the key to sustainability. The potential is possible, but fill a horse before the race and you slowed the winner.
Anyway, that’s my take on it. Until next time. -GS
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