Harsh way to start out, but that is literally a statement that applies to all of us, even ole Jeffery Bezos. As of today, Elon surpassed the Amazon king to take the helm as the world’s richest human. Now I’m not talking rich in relationships, or with health, or with family. I’m talking that sweet, sweet wealth baby.
So, whip out your iPhone and get your Tik Tok fired up, because now we gotta do a whole new video on what a billion dollars looks like in terms of grains of rice. Yeah, we all fucking saw the video and gee-wilkers mister, you really set my mind ablaze. Kidding, and first off shut the fuck up you dirty communist, that harps on a person for making money. Aw man, did Elon revolutionize an entire industry and way of life to make us safer and more comfortable? Woah, what a fucking asshole that guy must be. And Bezos, come on now. Remember back in the 1980’s where you had to explain your platform shoes to your deeply closeted and conservative Vietnam vet of a father? Well now you can get that same pair of shoes in a discreet box to save the embarrassment. I mean honestly, it’s not like Jeff, Elon, or Bill put a gun to your head. No, you just have zero self-control and no accountability. So go ahead and whine about the rich hoarding their wealth and make sure that Facebook post is sent via your iPhone while you drive a fucking Toyota Prius.
Alright rant over. Elon over took ole Bezos by becoming the first man to 185 billion of personal wealth, jeff was shy one billion dollars at 184 billion. My heart goes out to him. With Tesla’s share price showing no signs of quit, and orders going through the roof, Elon should be able to hold this title for at least a few years to come, but of course with the stock market he could fall from being the richest man by tomorrow if we are being honest. Keep in mind that wealth does not equal cash, I feel like everyone can’t conceptualize that. Elon and Jeff have plenty of WEALTH but that doesn’t necessarily just turn into cash because you’re trying to make a point at the bar. Anyway, the most impressive stat is that Elon made a whooping 160 BILLION in just about a year or two, as his companies became more wildly successful, so did that checkbook of his.
Elon has been innovating since day one. He has been helping secure human survival, while changing the world around us for the better. From the yearly days of PayPal, to taking over Tesla, and now literally on his way to fucking Mars with SpaceX. Elon is on a path to change the world around him and through trial and error has been doing just that. The man, to put it simply, does not deserve all the discredit coming his way. Sure he’s weird but we gotta embrace it.
A pretty cool story for just a normal kid raised in South Africa. Cheers to fucking Mars, Elon. You did that. Anyway, that’s my take on it. Until next time.-GS
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