Oh, you read that correctly.
I thought I wanted to write a blog tonight about Chipotle’s new initiative with “FoodPrint”, and how that stock just don’t got no quit. That will have to wait for the Podcast. Because God gave me a sign today, and that sign was in the form of a beautiful, beautiful headline from the New York Post: “Costco pulling products allegedly made with forced monkey labor”. Ok, first off, before you start calling on the cancel culture to get my ass, just know, I firmly believe nature is way better than any of us shitty humans, and animal abuse is fucking horrid. Ok, now that’s out of the way, HOLY FUCK-A-DUCKLES! There is nothing in this world that could stop me from writing about this fucking gem. Costco, coconut milk, and alleged forced monkey labor. They story writes itself. Let’s dig in.
So, recently the cringe-worthy cult named PETA had a thorough, and I mean that in the lightest sense, search of a Thai based coconut product producing facility and got a tape of a monkey basically doing manual labor. Now the tape is obviously bad, and if this holds truth, the company should be shut down or fined majorly. But basically, what the monkeys do, is pick through coconuts to find more suitable ones for processing. I giggle as I type this but I assume basic human working conditions like breaks, overtime, and lunch hours are not really accounted for in the monkey labor department. Can you imagine a monkey in HR trying to fill out another coworker monkey grievance form?! I mean they all have ties on and drinking coffee. This is like comedy gold. The situation is not too clear on what could be done. Thailand has plenty of other fairly large practices with animals that are questionable to say the least. Monkey labor, for me, is a new one though.
Costco is doing the right thing to distance themselves from the Chaokoh as a company, especially with the allegations. In 2020 it seems like being in the limelight just leads to a shit storm. Anyway, monkey labor is, god I can’t even write that without smirking, is not ok. We should not be forcing monkeys to do our biding. Although after seeing some godawful Planet of the Apes renditions, I am not too sure the monkeys would not just turn around and do this to us. Anyway, count and sort your own fucking coconuts, Chaokoh, using monkeys is not cool bro.
Costco will sweep this under the rug as I am sure Chaokoh and Thailand as a country. The grocery warehouse is already massively punishing Chaokoh by pulling it’s products, which I am sure was a bountiful revenue stream. This story will just be a small glimmer in the fascinating world of accusations made by PETA. Who knows if this is true, but this year just keeps dishing the shit out left and right. Monkey labor, here we are.
Anyway, that’s my take on it. Until next time. -GS
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