My God, nothing revs my Chevy truck engine and makes me want to chug a miller with a dart quite like taking down those liberal snowflakes. Thanks to Kid Rock and other patriots, we, as a country have successfully shot enough bud lights to send their sales into a weeks long bender.
Just kidding, I don’t give one single fuck about this, but a story is a story so here we go. Ok, so a trans activist got some promotion from Bud Light and they went on social media to flaunt the can celebrating a “year of being a woman” or something like that. For some reason that just fucking rubbed everyone off in the wrong way. Right-wingers everywhere had a meltdown leading to Kid Rock retaliating by firing his AR-15 into some helpless Bud Light bottles, and for one second it got dark in Ireland. You just don’t hurt beer like that. Needless to say the controversy grew and grew and is still fucking growing like yeast in a barrel….. right? Is that how it even works?
Anyway, sales have tanked for Bud Light resulting in a net 23% loss so far and the other more “bold” water flavor, Budweiser, has dropped by about 11%. People got fired, departments were reorganized, and the CEO has had like 17 fireside chats with us as if he was our father except with less hitting. The hilarious part is everyone freaking out probably has never seen the stock in a different timeline view. Scroll to a 1 year view, stock looks alright. 5 year view, stock starts to look not so good. Max view? Jesus H Christ this stock looks like the most recent crisis was blip on a long series of issues.
The only thing I’ll say about politics can only be summed up in one way, by the greatest of all time Bill Burr “We’re all eating from the same shit sandwich, were just on different sides of the plate” God Damn.
All in all, Budweiser and Bud Light have bigger issues to fight, just shut up for a moment and let the insanity pass over, as always if you prove to be boring in America, no one will notice you at all. Who the fuck cares. I don’t and neither should you.
….. ok so this was at 399 words and I wanted 400 so here’s 400: Tits.
Anyway, that’s my take on it. Until next time-- GS
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